so here i am still at my precious baby's house. she just left me to go to her room. wth. she just cant wait for me. anyway think she woke up at around 12+ today? i woke up shortly after. was kinda tireed but she asked me to wake up. !! lol. we went to have lunch at a coffeeshop nearby. western food. and nope, its not really nice. both of us didnt finish the food. went to buy cigarettes and after smoking we took cab back as its raining.

so, we just slack around. not doing anything much. after which i heat up the porridge i cooked yesterday night and we open up some canned food to eat. that's our dinner. haha. im gonnago look for her soon. cant get enough of my precious dearie!!

really happy that i woke up beside you today. it feels so special. i really hope we can spend more of our days together. i really love you alot baby!!

* my S H A T T E R E D dreams_ 10:07 PM

I'M AT MY DEARIE'S HOUSE!!! WOOHOO!!


sigh. i really love her alot. hope she wouldn't break my heart again.

* my S H A T T E R E D dreams_ 10:49 PM

man. something happened on the 10th of nov. i don't even wana think bout it. i didn't know what really happened. she claimed to have forgotten it. well baby, let me tell you this, no one ever hurt me like that before. i've got a taste of it and i didn't know how to handle it. i blew up. any guys would. it really hurts to the deepest spot in my heart cos i really love you alot. i don't know how am i suppose to forget it. cos i don't know what really happened. u promised me never will there be a second time. i sincerely hope that it's true. this past a month plus or so, seems like i've wasted my time and love. but i'm glad you start to change. start to make us have a better life. all your promises, i hope you will not break it. not a single one of them. i love u.

alright. let's just forget about that. i really can see you changing. and that i'm feeling abit loved by you. i mean you do love me alot too right? i just wana spend a long time, happy and loving, with you only. i wana hack someone to death, it's you who stopped me. it's you who's stopping me from doing anything. i haven't seen you for like the 3rd day running. and i'm missing you like crazy. i hope there's a chance to see you later? i'm lovesick. pearlyn-sick. pearlyn-crazy. i just need you right here right now. when i hug you, i feel the assurance. i feel that you really love me. mayb it's just naive thinking. i don't know. but when i do hug you, i always hug you tight. i've learnt how to appreciate someone when they are around. i swear you'll have a good life with me. i'm gonna do that or die trying.

right now i'm at the mess since like 8 days? updating all those shit could cost me ALOT of time. so i just wana say what i feel now. that's it babe.


never ever hurt me again, i can't take it. i really feel like dying. in my heart, there's only you. i trust you. but don't betray it. i need you in my life. i really do cos i'm loving you so deeply. trust me, i've never felt like this.

* my S H A T T E R E D dreams_ 6:59 AM

I LOVE U PEARLYN WONG YIHUI.


I SWEAR!!


* my S H A T T E R E D dreams_ 10:19 PM

i'm at the mess again. it's been long since i blog. here we go again~


got handcuffed like for 2 hours plus after going for urine test. it hurts. damn. my RSM's so shitty. scared i run? i not so stupid lahs. then at around 1030 went for charge. was charged AWOL for 4 days. the JDO gave me 12 days DB? i hafta be like pathetic to ask him to cover the 4 days with my leave. so he asked my last time in-charge how's my working attitude. luckily my colleague put in some good words for me. was spared the DB shit. GOD BLESS ME!


and so, there goes my baby's 12 days freedom? hahas. sigh. i'm so scared my baby will hurt me. i think she don't really understand how much i love her? this few days, there are goods and bads. i wonder why she still go out and meet her ex. got into problem with one of them at plaza. staring incident. shit. so YP. hahas. but i was like so damn jaded already and he actually fix his eyes on me. shit. nevermind. it's over anyway. i really love her alot. i'm a rare species. LOL.


now i'm at the mess. downloading some songs and cutting it for my baby. no sweat. i'll do anything for you baby. she lost her wallet. damn. so suay. DANIEL bought it for her. man, right now i can't buy anything for her yet. my pay's gonna get delayed. SHIT.




you're the reason behind everything that i do.
dying for you is worth it.
i dont mind waiting.
please just dont leave me alone.
its like killing me.





i just love you so much, my pearlyn baby.

* my S H A T T E R E D dreams_ 1:00 AM

i swear i'm gonna go camp tonight. shit. i'm like so scared and yet i'm doing it? i'm seriously just sick of it already. i wana come out and work asap. not serving the govt on such meagre pay. damn. gotta endure a good 4 months. ARGH!!

i think ima go in sit real soon. maybe on thurs? my officer gave me a lot of chances already and yet i don't appreciate it. i just can't seem to get myself to be disciplined enough to go camp. damn. and my job's kinda easy? i blame it all on my sickening rota personnels. my officer changed it like at the start of october? and i've been skipping camp since then. they wouldn't change it back for MY sake. it's just so sickening. at least last time there's fun, booze and cocks. now? the guys i have in my rota just mind their own business. i'm suffering in and out. there's nothing i can do i know. endure, is what everyone tells me. alright, you people can go try it just for one night, and you'll know how much it suck. sigh.

my baby's at her workplace now. too early. i miss her. and i certainly do love her from the bottom of my heart.

i'll endure every single shit thats coming thru to me right now. i hope i can.

kill me if i'm on my own

* my S H A T T E R E D dreams_ 9:25 AM

man. i'm feeling messed up right now. shit. she's always hiding something from me. i said i won't mind you contacting guys already and yet.. received a weird msg from you. it was meant for others i can see. not only me. i wonder. am i thinking too much? argh. i just feel fucked up.

* my S H A T T E R E D dreams_ 2:42 AM