"I dunno wt I thinking. Miss times ad the KEMBANGAN mrt stn sometimes. Esp when I walk past the bicycle wid a disc in front of the basket. I feel ...... I dont know lahhs. Just dat I think everything Is repeating itself. I dont want to go further........ becus I really dont trust him"





God, can you PLEASE let me know of a way to let my precious baby believe my love? i've fallen in so deep in love with her right now but she don't believe what i feel. whenever we talk bout it, my heart feels so sour. it hurts. i know i haven't did enough for her, i know i'm not good enough for her, i know i can't give enough to her. but my love is all i can give. please let me know what i can do and i'll do it unconditionally. i'm so afraid that she'll just break up with me cos i've fallen too deep into it. i'll just break down. i need her in my life, not cos i'm lazy to get another girl, or i can't, but because i love her alot. and i seriously hope we'll turn out real good. i'm' willing to go thru all these cos i seriously love her alot. God bless us, our relationship and everything of us. AMEN.




had a nice day out with my precious babe. at bugis with eugene too. suppose to watch movie with her. but went shopping instead. that bloody eugene stuck that shitty cheesy popcorn into my nose!! DAMN!! that smells like shit i swear.
so we walked around a bit. kuangyi came to find us cos he's like so damn bored. and then we went to daniel's father's temple. wanted to ask something but well, it's the wrong day and there's lotsa people. so my dear went back. wanted to send her home but she didn't want me to.. why? i don't know a thing. i don't even feel troubled, i even feel happy if i can send her home. even to the bus stop. she stopped me from doing that but i insisted. wonder if she felt pissed when i did that. i mean, i wana send her home because I LOVE HER. God, i feel like crying. feel unwanted. feel like cutting myself. to feel the adrenaline rush when i'm doing it. but i'm 21. i shouldn't do that kinda things i did in the past. how bout getting high on drugs? hmmm. nah, i'm too skinny to do that. drink? my baby don't like. shit, i don't know what to do to make me stop feeling the way i'm feeling now. gosh, i typed too much already? right now i'm at the mess waiting for my baby to go online. hope nothing bad would be said.




MY BABY, SAVE ME. ONLY YOU CAN, 'COS I GODAMMIT LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

* my S H A T T E R E D dreams_ 10:39 PM